Too Much Heart
by Half.Pint.Witch
Summary: Castiel/OC Castiel stumbles upon a woman named Charlotte during his time on Earth who has shook him to the very core. Travel with them as she helps him discover what these feelings are, what they mean and their consequences. Rated M for future content and language. Set Season 5 and on.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

"I will crawl across the sky, slowly until gusts rise and speed my journey. I will carry rain and only fall when I know you need it. I will glance down at the black painted trees silhouetted against the sky. I will brave the endless voyage to the horizon…if, if and only if, somewhere far from here, you are waiting for me to find you."

-Tyler Knott Gregson

_The actions leading up to here are ones that will haunt me for the rest of my existence. This, long, lonely, unending existence. I remember every detail, each cursed minute, of the time that passed until this moment. I never intended for this to happen. It was not supposed to end like this. It wasn't supposed to begin. Perhaps I'm only getting what I deserve. But my actions have landed her in the crossfire. Her. I can hear her in my head. Right now, she would be telling me it didn't matter; it was all going to be all right. But she would be wrong. Everything is wrong; it will never be all right again. She would smile at me, perhaps place her hand gently on my cheek. Under other circumstances, it would wash my worry away. The world and its problems would crumble in my mind, leaving only her. I've existed for thousands of years, but she showed me what it was to live, to love. She has become the air I breathe, the gravity holding me to the ground; my heart beats only for her. She is my reason for existing. _

_I suppose I should take you back to the beginning. It was the year 2008; Uriel and myself were in Lonaconing, Maryland attempting to hinder the breaking of one of the 66 seals of the Apocalypse, the rising of Samhain. I had been speaking with him in a small park, reminding him of our true orders, to follow the instruction of Dean Winchester. Uriel had departed but I remained, reflecting quietly to myself. She had walked over to me, I remember seeing her from the corner of my eye. She had stopped before me, hands behind her back, bent at the waist and turned her head to one side._

"Hey there," _she sang whimsically, her eyes sparkled like stars in the night sky._

"Hello," _I had replied, confused by her appearance._

"I'm Charlotte," _she had then held her hand out. At the time, I was unaware to the custom of humans shaking hands as a greeting. _

"I know." _This should have frightened her, but she had laughed, it was like the chime of silver bells, and infectious. For the first time on Earth, I had smiled._

"May I sit with you?"

"Uh." _She rendered me speechless. She replaced Uriel beside me; even at the time I preferred her company to his. I prefer her company to anyone's now._

"Well, I'm assuming you don't want me to know your name-"

"Why are you here?" _I had interrupted. My time amongst the humans was limited. My only interaction had been with the Winchesters, who are not the best instructors of human etiquette…_

"Well, I saw you from across the way. You looked troubled."

"I am troubled. Greatly troubled."

"What's on your mind Jack?"

"That isn't my name." _She had laughed at this._

"Then what _is_ your name?"

"Castiel."

"Castiel? You're not from around here are you?"

"No."

"Where _are_ you from Castiel?'

"Heaven."

"Well, I suppose some believe that is where we _all_ come from. Babies are a gift from God!" _I believe she had said that sarcastically. Even after all these years, I have trouble understanding that particular humor._

"Some are. Some are not."

"Wow, very bold statement coming from such a mild manned man."

"I am not a man." _As I said, my "people skills" were not developed. I did not know how to "disguise myself" as she would later help me master. _

"Then what are you?" _I remember the fear in her voice. It became a tone I never wanted to hear again._

"I am an angel of the Lord." _I had looked into her eyes then for the first time, that's when everything changed. I did not recognize the emotion coursing through me. I now recognize it as love, uninhibited, uncontrolled, endearment._

"What?" _She hadn't run as the others had tried, she had stayed there beside me, an act that still amazes me to this day._

"I am an angel of the Lord. A soldier of heaven."

"And, what is an, angel of heaven, doing in Lonaconing?"

"We need to stop the rising of Samhain."

"Who?"

"Samhain. He is a very powerful demon. A witch located in this town is attempting to raise him from Hell."

"Um, why? And wait, there's a witch in this town?"

"It is one of the 66 seals. And yes. A very powerful one."

"Huh?"

"Have you never read Revelations?" _I had gotten short with her. The anger in my voice had struck fear to her delicate features. I became angry with myself, for making her feel that way._

"No." _Her voice had lost all of its perfect, beautiful resonance. _

"The 66 seals of the Apocalypse. If they are broken, Lucifer rises."

"Whoa! What?" _She was so afraid. I could not form words. _"Like, the end of the world Apocalypse? And, Lucifer, as in, Satan, the devil?"

"Yes." _I needed to protect her. I did not concern myself with the punishment I would receive for saving her, heaven's orders, Uriel, only that I needed this woman to be safe. That instinct would never go away. _"You need to come with me."

"What, where?"

"Somewhere safe."

_She had nodded. I've asked her many times why she trusted me that day, her response is always 'Who wouldn't trust an angel in a trench coat?' Always joking…_

_I took her to Sam and Dean. I ordered them to keep her safe at all costs. _

"So, why are we protecting this girl Cas? Who is she?" _Dean had asked, angry with me for putting another burden on him._

"Please Dean. Just, keep her safe." _At the time, I didn't know why either. _

_When the threat was past, Dean had returned her to her house. I pondered for a long while on whether to go see her again. Uriel had demanded I lose whatever interest I had for her wellbeing, she was 'not in my charge' he had put it. But something inside me told me to go and say goodbye. I consider this the best and worst decision I have ever made._

_When I arrived, she welcomed me, which I found very strange. She assured me if I needed anything ever again I could 'fly on over anytime'. She had smiled at me again, how she could be so happy after the ordeal she had just survived confused me. Later, I discovered it was because I had returned._

_I protected her from that day forth, even though it was against the orders of heaven. I watched her, learned as much as I could. I was infatuated. Everything she did amazed me. It still amazes me. I could never grasp the meaning of perfect, until I discovered her._

_She is perfection._

_And I have ruined her._

A/N Welcome to this little world! Before we move on to the next chapter I just wanted to explain a little!

This is not the POV of the entire story, this is only a little Cas monologue/prologue.

I came up with Lonaconing, MD when I googled the population of the town in 'The Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester' since they never gave us a location, I chose this one!

This is going to follow the storyline of Supernatural as close as Charlotte is related to it.

Sam and Dean come in as main players pretty soon!

R/R!


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The truth is my love

That days of sadness will come,

But I'll come through them.

-Tyler Knott Gregson

**2009**

"Good evening, Lonaconing!" Charlotte yelled into the microphone.

She looked out at the crowd in front of her. There was old man Jenkins, or whatever his real name was, at his usual seat, the group of college dropouts reliving the good ol' frat days and the usual gaggle of three middle aged single women who spent every Saturday night at the bar hoping their prince charming would come along. 'Yeah right' Charlotte thought to herself. Last time she had checked, Prince Charming didn't exactly roll into hole in the wall dive bars in small towns on a regular basis. She sighed, positioning her guitar readily at her fingers, clearing her throat to begin her song. She had decided on playing the usual line-up of covers, same audience, same songs, she thought that was only fair. It's not like they actually listened to her anyway. It was just some monotonous background noise in their monotonous, played out lives. She needed to get out of this town.

"Hey baby! Why don't you come over here and put that mouth to good use!"

Charlotte rolled her eyes, 'right on cue' she mused, placing her guitar back into its case.

"I got a flute back here that could use some fine tuning!"

Clipping her case closed, she stood up and shot a glare to the men, no, the boys at the back of the bar. Ignorant swine, that's what they are. It was always the same. Crude comments followed by high fives all around, and usually another round of Jaeger down the hatch. She remembered two of them from high school. Scotty Garrison was one. He took the freshman fifteen and turned it into the freshman fifty. In high school, he was it, the number one man on campus, now he was a manager at a fast food joint down the road. Then there was his cousin, Jeff. He was the town junkie, a real gem. The guy looked like he hadn't had a shower since the last time he went to jail, which was a pretty regular occurrence now that she'd thought about it.

"Hey Charlotte! Need some web?"

Enough was enough. She picked up her bottled water from the floor and threw it across the bar in their direction. They erupted in a round of 'ooooo' before laughing at her feeble attempt of intimidation. Her dark auburn hair flew into her face, her cheeks burning red. She felt the tears start to brim her eyelids. This routine was getting old. She ran from the stage, ignoring the coins the raucous groups of men was throwing at her, and straight out the door.

The cool night air was relaxing. She fumbled in the pocket of her jean jacket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, her favorite Zippo lighter tucked neatly into the rubber band she kept around the box. She'd been promising herself she would quit, for about six months now. As soon as the paper was nestled between her lips, a wave of relief washed over her. She lit it, taking a large drag. She blew the smoke above her head, puffing her cheeks, sending it out of her lips in an O shape. She smiled; one thing she had always appreciated about herself was her uncanny ability of being easily amused. Everything made her laugh. That was one of her many good qualities, and it went hand in hand with her skill at making people laugh. People had described her as infectious; she didn't see it, just friends enjoying her impeccably nerdy jokes and quirky mannerisms. Other favorite words were eccentric and outgoing, those last two she could definitely see. She could talk to anyone; shy was not a word in her vocabulary.

The local dive bar, Sharky's, was where she sang every Thursday and Saturday nights, to the same group of ten patrons, five of them being complete assholes. Her day job found her traveling around the county playing photographer, as she liked to call it. Her business was finally starting to take off. She had appointments booked almost everyday for people wanting her to photograph their weddings, babies, birthdays, and she loved every minute of it.

She began her short walk home, taking the last drag of her cigarette before tossing it down a storm drain, 'Ok, last one, I swear' she coached herself, passing by the park. She stopped and looked at a bench positioned off by the playground.

The angel Castiel had yet to return since their first encounter last year. He had gone as quickly as he'd appeared. She remembered the day as if it were yesterday, the apocalypse, the witch, his human friends, Sam and Dean, teleporting, or whatever the angel term for it was. After meeting him, she had brushed up on her Revelations, learning about the seals, the apocalypse, so she could more easily converse with him, but he never returned. And could she blame him? Why on Earth would an angel from heaven have any interest in visiting a 29-year-old failing musician? Her past was littered with sins, dishonesty and lies, even more ammo to keep a pure being of the Lord away. He had known her name, there was no doubt he knew about everything else about her. She had always been a skeptic when it came to religion, but he had changed that. On occasion she found herself praying, it had become somewhat of a security blanket. Now that she knew they were out there, whether they were listening or not, she found a certain comfort in it.

"Well, Cas, if you're still out there, I hope you're doing ok," she said, laughing a little under her breath, remembering his awkward form of interaction.

She could never place her finger on why she had even believed him in the first place. Why she had stayed and listened, even trusted him to take her somewhere. 'Somewhere safe' he had said. There was just something about him, his presence had made her feel safe, secure, protected. Her gut instincts had never mistaken her before, and her gut had told her that this man, this angel, had come into her life for a reason.

The sidewalk guided her to the swinging cast iron gate to her walkway that led up to a small, quaint white house. The flowers were in full bloom, the moon casting a light glow on the array of blossoms under the window. She unlocked her door, her gray tabby cat Leopold greeting her at the door.

"Hey there little guy," she cooed, picking him up.

She placed her guitar in the closet beside the door, kicking her canvas slip-ons off before retreating to the living room and collapsing onto the couch. Her house was filled with small knick-knacks and pictures, living up to her eccentric classification. Her headed started to fall to her chest in exhaustion, within minutes she had fallen asleep sitting on the couch.

Charlotte awoke in the early hours of the morning, sore from her sleeping position. She rubbed her eyes, fumbling around her side table for the light switch. When she turned it on she gave a small scream. Castiel was sitting on the other end of the couch, his eyes firmly affixed on her. He looked exactly the same. Messy brown hair, piercing blue eyes, even his stubble was unchanged. His clothes were as clean as the day she saw him months ago. A feeling of unexplainable ease washed over her, the corners of her mouth turning up in a small smile. Why was she smiling? It was 3:30 in the morning and this man had been there for, how long watching her? But it didn't matter, she was overjoyed to see him again, and alive.

"Hello Charlotte," he greeted quietly, his deep voice was riddled with what she presumed to be worry.

"Hi Cas," she replied, her smiling get larger at the sound of his voice, "How are you? It's been awhile."

"Yes. I came here to warn you."

"About?"

She watched his appearance change from serene, to tormented. He closed his eyes, his mouth turned down. He lowered himself, placing his elbows on his knees, hands clasped between them.

"The Apocalypse," he told her after moments of silence, his eyes opened and gazed into her own.

"Ah, that," she stuttered, standing up.

A cigarette, she needed a cigarette. Remembering she was wearing her jacket, she found the trusty little pack in her pocket. Letting out a sigh of relief she went outside onto her back porch, leaving the door open for Cas to follow her out. She lit one up, relishing in the calm as she took a drag.

"You shouldn't be smoking that. It's damaging to your health," Cas scolded as he appeared next to her without a sound.

"Holy shit!" Charlotte yelped at his surprise appearance, "You scared me! Do you ever just, walk?"

"Yes. It is very, slow. I'm sorry."

"So, Apocalypse huh?"

"Yes. I failed. Lucifer has risen."

A heavy tone of sadness filled his voice as he confessed his failure. His head bowed in shame. Her heart broke for him. His sadness filled her, making it her own. She watched his eyes, staring intently at the ground, refusing to meet hers. He was ashamed.

"Hey, I'm pretty sure it isn't all your fault. Don't look so sad. You'll figure it out I'm sure," she assured him, putting her cigarette out and turning to face him.

"I'm not so sure," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

"What about Sam and Dean? Where are they?"

He turned placing his hands on the railing of her porch and moved his gaze to the sky, "I don't know."

"You'll find them."

"They've cast me out of heaven, I've lost everything."

His knuckles were white as he squeezed her railing, the wood starting to crack under his strength. She realized then what he truly was capable of. His strength was unmatched by humans, he could move anywhere in the world with no more than a thought and she was sure he was extremely skilled in the art of killing, whatever it was angels fought. These realizations should have frightened her, but they didn't. She only looked at him with greater awe, more respect, and more admiration. She saw his pain etched in his face. The last time she had seen him, his face was a mask of indifference, unfeeling. This Castiel was different. The past few months had changed him, had made him more human.

She gently placed her small hand over the top of his and to her surprise his grip relaxed. He did not pull away as she had expected him to. His hand was surprisingly soft, and very warm. Everything about this moment felt right.

"You are very kind," he finally spoke; his voice was more relaxed, almost normal.

"Are you going to be ok?" she asked, her worry had not receded.

"Yes. My concern is, are you going to be all right?"

This statement shocked her. He looked into her eyes intently, awaiting her response. She had no words for him. Why was this angel concerning himself with her safety? No one had ever shown his kind of invested interest in her or her wellbeing before. The feeling was foreign, but welcome.

"I will protect you, Charlotte. I promise," he added.

Castiel sat beside a sleeping Charlotte on her couch. He did not want to wake her, especially bearing such bad news. He had failed and the Apocalypse had begun. Sam Winchester had killed Lilith, breaking the final seal. He had gone to the prophet Chuck's house and been killed by Raphael, but moments later he stood on the ground in Jerusalem. His only explanation was God. God had resurrected him, filling Cas with a sense of surety that he was doing the right thing. God had not intended for Lucifer to walk the Earth and now Cas had to honor his father's wishes and stop the devil. As he turned his hands over in the air, marveling at the good fortune he had received his thoughts traveled to the woman in Maryland. He needed to ensure her safety; nothing would ever change that, not even God.

Charlotte had finally begun to rouse in the early hours of the morning. Castiel grew excited to hear her voice again, hear her say his name. He longed to gaze into her emerald eyes, reading every emotion that crossed them. He had learned much about her in his guardianship, her habits and her quirks. She screamed when she first saw him, but the fear etched onto her porcelain skin was quickly replaced with, joy? That couldn't be correct, a man appearing on someone's couch in the middle of the night elated no human. He could not face her as he confessed his failure to her, he was ashamed and she would be frightened, he despised that look.

They had traveled outside and she had been reassuring him he would succeed. How she could still have faith in him he did not understand. She had placed her small hand over his and her touch lit a small fire to his skin, relief washing over him. What was this woman? He had been searching for this answer for months. No human had ever had this effect on an angel before, something was wrong. Very wrong.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived- that is to have succeeded.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Charlotte awoke the next morning in her bed, still in her clothes from the evening before, the clock on her nightstand read 9:43 AM. She looked around her room, confused as to whether she had just woken up from a crazy dream, or if everything she remembered had been real. Castiel had been there, telling her the Apocalypse was here, Satan was walking the Earth somewhere but he had vowed to stop it at any cost. This news should have frightened her, but all she could remember feeling was a great sense of optimism for the angel in the trench coat.

Castiel had then vanished, promising to watch over her, as he had been doing since their first encounter last year. When he had told her that she was shocked, her very own guardian angel? She had never done anything worthy enough to be protected by heaven, she didn't even believe that was her final destination after all had been said and done. She remembered how she would pray to him at night and now she thought, he _had_ been listening. Seeing him, whether it was real or a dream, had resurfaced emotions she had packed deep down and far away from her mind, they were now running rampant in her brain, the same questions repeating over and over again. She hoped the time until she saw him again was shorter than the last, the way she felt when he was around was like a drug, and she needed more of it. Safe, protected, whole, were some of the emotions that filled her in his presence and there was no substitute for him. It must have been real; a dream couldn't make her feel this way, could it?

She rubbed her eyes, grabbing her cell phone off of the table. Did she put that there? She couldn't remember. There was one unread text message.

'**You ok?'** the message read. It was from Sam Winchester. She had kept in contact with him since their first and only encounter on Halloween. She had liked the younger Winchester, he was calm, sincere and caring, giving her his number before Castiel had brought her home, promising to keep in touch with her. He had kept his promise well; they talked at least once a week, usually through text message. She liked keeping up with the boys' well being, knowing they were safe had always given her hope that Castiel was also. She never asked Sam about him, just trusted that if anything bad had happened, he would tell her.

'**Yeah. Are you?'** she replied quickly, knowing that if the Apocalypse had just begun the Winchester's were involved.

'**Yeah. We're OK.'**

"**I think Cas came here last night…'**

Moments after sending that message her phone was ringing, it was Sam.

"Sam?" she answered.

"Char hey, so, you saw Cas? He's alive?"

"Um yeah, well, I saw him early this morning, around 3:30. It may have been a dream, I don't really- Wait, is he dead?"

"I don't know. Chuck said he died, but it would have been before the time you saw him. What do you remember?"

"I remember, waking up on my couch, he was sitting on the other end. He told me the Apocalypse had started, Lucifer had risen and that he was going to stop it. Then he vanished."

"So, so he knows? Then he must be alive! Where did he go? Did he say?"

"No, sorry."

"Ok, no that's ok. Thank you, I'll uh, I'll call you later."

Sam hung up the phone abruptly, leaving Charlotte with more questions than before she had spoken with him. Castiel was dead? No, that couldn't be true, it couldn't be. She had just seen him right? Maybe it had been a dream, one last beautiful dream before he disappeared forever.

"Cas! Castiel!" Charlotte yelled to the ceiling pleadingly, "Please, if you're alive-"

"Hello Charlotte," a deep voice responded quietly.

She looked quickly down in front of her and saw Castiel standing at the side of her bed. She sighed heavily in relief, throwing her blankets off and jumping out of bed to stand in front of him. She stifled the urge to throw her arms around his neck in a hug, opting to awkwardly swing them around her body. Last night hadn't been a dream; he had come to see her. All the emotions she felt came flooding back; she was in her safe little bubble that only he could bring.

"You are alive, Sam said-" she started, before being cut off by him.

"Yes I'm alive. I have yet to see the Winchester's."

"Were you, dead?"

"Yes."

"Then how…?"

"God."

"God?"

"Yes. I believe he saved me, and the Winchesters. I need you to stay here until I return."

She began to mouth the word 'ok' but he had vanished in a gust of wind, leaving her alone. The creeping feeling of vulnerability found it's way inside her again, longing for the presence of the angel who guarded her. For months she had tried to discover why she felt the way she did, but there was no answer. She had seen him three times now, and each time he left was harder and harder on her. Was it because she didn't know if or when he would return? Why was it so important that he did? What was this feeling in the middle of her chest when he left? Or the one that took its place when he returned?

Charlotte sat on her living room couch, idly flipping through the channels. Evening newscasts of natural disasters occurring around the country shown on every channel, it really was the end of the world, she thought. One story in particular had caught her attention, a mysterious attack on an old convent in Ilchester, MD, not that far from where she sat at that very moment. Her heart rate sped up as the newscaster explained the explosion, the bright white light that shot up into the sky. That was it that was him she thought; the devil had risen within 2 hours of her house. No wonder everyone had seemed so concerned. She dialed Sam, but got no answer again. She had been attempting to reach him since Cas had shown up in her bedroom so she could tell him the news that he was all right. The knot in the pit of her stomach told her that something was off. Sam hadn't mentioned being on a hunt, only that they were looking for Cas, why wouldn't he answer his phone.

The hours ticked by as she waited for Castiel to return or Sam to contact her. She paced her house, clutching her phone for dear life, her patience dwindling down to nothing at the tick of each second passing by. Finally, in the dark hours of the night, Castiel appeared, throwing the papers on her table around the room.

"Hello Charlotte," he greeted, manifesting close beside her as she sat at her kitchen table.

"Cas," she breathed with a sigh of relief, "Is everyone all right?"

"Yes, the Sam and Dean are fine."

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"Are you, all right?"

"Yeah."

"I came to, watch over you, for as long as I am able. You need rest."

"I'm fine."

"I can tell, by your eyes. You look weary."

She looked up at him, astounded by his ability to read her. She was exhausted. She looked into his eyes, such a piercing blue and full of concern, concern for her, and for the world. She had never truly noticed how beautiful his face really was. From the mess of brown hair atop his head, to the perfectly angled jaw that led to a slightly cleft chin, she stared and felt her heart skip a beat. She blew her breath out, realizing she was holding it and looked away, regaining her composure. She swallowed hard, remembering again how to breathe.

"Are you all right?" Cas asked, bending slightly to get a better look at her face.

"Yes," Charlotte replied hastily, "Did, did Lucifer rise in, in Ilchester?"

"Yes."

"Is that why you rushed here last night?"

"Yes. I had to make sure you were safe."

"Why? Why does it matter if I'm safe? I'm just some girl living in some Podunk town in Maryland. I don't contribute anything to the world-"

"I just, it matters."

There was a finality embedded in his tone that told her to pry no more. She looked back into his face and smiled. He was looking at her with a fierce gaze, his brow furrowed. He looked almost confused, as if he had no idea why she had even asked her previous question. At that moment she realized that all of the confounding questions that had plagued her since last Halloween, also plagued him. These strange feelings of unknown origin and reason coursed through his mind just as much as hers.

"Why? Why does it matter if I'm safe? I'm just some girl living in some Podunk town in Maryland. I don't contribute anything to the world-"

"I just, it matters."

Castiel looked at the woman before him. He didn't have an answer to her question. He had no idea why it mattered so much to him that she stay safe, it just did. She turned to look at him again, her expression soft, a small smile set upon her lips; she looked so, beautiful. No, that word would never be sufficient enough to describe her, there had to be another. He had seen the most magnificent forests in the world, and their color held no candle to the color of Charlotte Lockley's eyes. Her ivory skin contrasted perfectly with the dark red of her hair, she was his father's greatest creation.

He felt a thumping in his vessel's chest. Was that his heart? It was beating hard and fast, he could feel the body heating up, a flush of warmth rushing to his cheeks. He looked around, afraid at what could be causing this strange reaction. His hands became moist; facing his palms to his eyes he looked at them, sweat building up in the lines etched in the skin.

"Cas? Are you all right?" he heard her ask, standing up. He looked back at her and saw her face ridden with concern.

"Yes, I'm- I'm fine," he answered slowly, wiping his hands on his over coat, "I have to go, look for something."

"What?"

"You need to rest, I will return later to make sure everything is all right."

With one final look into her eyes he disintegrated into molecules, particles flying over the Earth and landed quickly in a Redwood forest in California.

Three days had past since Charlotte had last seen Castiel. He had left so abruptly, it had confused her. She had gone about her normal life, speaking with Sam daily about his friend Bobby, who had been injured in a fight. Sam had told her the doctor's didn't think he would ever walk again. She knew both of the Winchester's thought very highly of Bobby and she felt awful for all three of them.

It was mid morning and Charlotte was enjoying a hot cup of tea on the couch when a sudden gust of wind tousled her hair, blowing it into her face. Castiel appeared standing in front of her television, looking down into his hands, eyes squinted in confusion.

"Hey Cas," she greeted, eyebrows raised in confusion.

"Hello Charlotte," he answered, turning a small black object over, scrutinizing it.

"Whatcha got there?'

"A telephone. I don't understand it."

Charlotte laughed at his lack of knowledge on human objects, getting up to stand in front of him. She looked up into his bewildered eyes, slowly taking the phone out of his hands.

"Well, do you know who you want to call?" she asked.

"Yes. Sam and Dean," he answered, relieved.

"Ah, well I have Sam's number right here. I'll enter it into your address book."

"I don't have a book."

"It's in the phone, here look."

She turned to stand beside him as she took her own phone out of her pocket. As she started pressing the tiny buttons of the phone he leaned in towards her, causing her shoulder to lean into his upper arm. His arm was firm, even through the many layers of clothes he wore and he smelled of frankincense and fresh fallen rain, it was intoxicating. She lost the ability to speak as she took in his closeness, she snapped back to what was left of her senses when she heard the thud of her own phone on the floor. She began to bend down to pick it up but he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder stopping her.

"I'll get it," he said sweetly, bending down.

Whatever control over her emotions she had came crashing down when he looked up at her, eyes wide, one corner of his mouth turned up into a small smile. She gazed back at him in awe as he stood up and placed her phone back into her still open hand. He stared back, head turned slightly to one side.

"Um, so, your address book is here," she breathed, keeping her eyes locked on his face.

She reluctantly moved her gaze to his phone, showing him how to call, text and add numbers to his contact list. He watched silently, memorizing the motions of her fingers over the tiny keys, leaning against his shoulder again. He enjoyed the touch of her tiny arm against his, feeling her warmth against the skin of his vessel.

"And, I'll add my number in here also, just in case," she finished, adding herself into his contacts.

"Thank you," he said, his voice sincere, gaze soft.

"You're welcome."

As she handed his phone back to him his fingers brushed lightly against the back of her hand, leaving a trail of fire after them. Their eyes snapped up to one another's at the graceful touch, bewildered eyes meeting one another. Nervously, she cleared her throat, tucking her hands into her pockets, looking up to the ceiling, his eyes averting to the floor.

"I'm going to go call Sam," he said, breaking the awkward silence, turning away towards the back porch.

Watching him as he opened the sliding glass door and step outside, she let out a large breath. She ran her hands through her hair, unable to process what was happening. Did she have a crush on an _angel_? There was no way; yes he was attractive and _not human_. Right? Angels weren't humans, were they? No, they had feathery wings, wore skirts and had 80's permed hair. At least that's what the angel looked like in the painting her mom had in their living room when she was growing up. Did they come in a variety? Her thoughts were cut short when Cas came walking back into the house.

"They're at a hospital, Saint Martin's. Would you like to come?" he asked, placing the phone into his trench coat pocket.

"To the hospital? With you?" she replied, looking around frantically.

"Yes. I know you and Sam are friends. Would you like to go see him?"

It had been many long months since she last saw Sam Winchester, and now that he had mentioned it, she did want to see him. She nodded her head, finally looking up into his eyes again and he walked toward her, holding two fingers out. In the span of three second they were standing in the hallway of a hospital, nurses bustling by frantically, doctor's on their phones and looking at patient charts. She didn't envy anyone that worked there, the pressure was too high for her to handle.

"This way," Cas directed, taking off down the hallway.

She followed behind, trying her hardest to keep up with his large strides and fast pace. They turned a corner and she could see the towering figure of Sam standing beside a doorway, his brother Dean in front of him. Cas quickened his pace as soon as he caught sight of them, coming to stand in front of the two of them, Charlotte taking his side in front of Sam.

"Charlotte! Hey! How are you?" Sam greeted enthusiastically, wrapping her in a one-arm hug.

"Cell phone Cas?" Dean asked harshly, raising his eyebrows, "Really? Since when do angels need to reach out and touch someone?

"You're hidden from angels now-_all _angels. I won't be able to simply-" Cas started to explain.

"Enough foreplay," Bobby shouted from inside the room, seated in a wheelchair staring out the window, "Get over here and lay your damn hands on."

The three men stared into the room, Charlotte looked at Cas, unaware his powers included those of healing. He looked at Bobby sadly.

"Get healing, now!" Bobby yelled as he turned his gaze to the doorway.

"I can't," Cas replied, disheartened.

Bobby turned his chair to face the doorway, "Say again?"

"I'm cut off from heaven and much of heaven's power. Certain things, I can do. Certain things, I can't," Cas replied as he walked into the room.

"You're telling me you lost your mojo just in time to get me stuck in this trap the rest of my life?!"

"I'm sorry."

"Shove it up your ass."

Bobby turned his chair toward the window again and Charlotte looked up at Sam, seeing the pained expression on his face.

"Well at least he's talking now," Dean muttered through the corner of his mouth.

"I heard that!" Bobby yelled in response.

Charlotte looked at the man and felt immediate pity, although she knew it was the last thing he would want her feeling for him. She pushed past Sam and Cas and crouched beside Bobby in his chair, hoping to try and make him feel better. She heard Cas tell Dean they needed to talk and took that as her cue to leave the conversation.

"Hey Bobby, I'm Charlotte. I'm a, friend of Castiel and Sam's," Charlotte greeted with a small smile.

"Yeah I heard of ya," was all he responded, not looking at her.

"I'm really sorry. About what's happened to you."

"Yeah, yeah. Take your damn pity party somewhere else."

"This isn't the end. It's just a minor setback. Cas will get his battery recharged and fix you up in no time."

"What is it with you and that angel anyway?"

"Uh, um…"

"The one who began everything. God," Charlotte had tuned back in to the conversation between Castiel and the Winchesters, she turned her head to look at them, "I'm gonna find God."

Dean had gone to close the door of the room, turning his full attention to Castiel.

"God?" he asked.

Charlotte delved into her own thoughts, putting her own beliefs into question. God? How could he allow any of this to happen? She heard Dean tell Cas that God was either dead, or didn't care and Charlotte had to agree with him. How could God allow Lucifer to rise to Earth, his most precious creation? Lucifer would destroy the planet and all God had made, he couldn't be around and just, letting it happen.

"I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I hunted, I rebelled and I did it, all of it, for you," Cas stated angrily, looking at Charlotte through the corners of his eyes briefly, "And you failed, you and your brother destroyed the world and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep, your opinions, to yourself."

You and your brother destroyed the world? They failed? What did he mean by they destroyed the world. Hadn't Castiel told her it was his fault? She looked at Sam with wide eyes, but he clenched his jaw and turned his head further away from her, avoiding her gaze at all costs. There was more to this story and she needed to know it. She saw Dean give Castiel the necklace he was wearing, which ended the conversation. Castiel looked over to her, his eyes hard and intent. She looked over to Sam, who still refused to look at her, there was definitely more to this story.

She got up from where she was crouched and went to send beside Cas, taking the silence as the end of the meeting.

"Why is she here?" Dean spat angrily, gesturing his hand towards Charlotte, "Aren't you that chick from Halloween?"

"Yes," she squeaked out, she had always been slightly afraid of the older Winchester. He was also so, angry and hostile. Although she could tell it was all a ruse.

"She's with me Dean," Cas told him, his voice deep and cautioning.

Dean nodded, looking her up and down before turning to face his brother. Then, within an instant, Cas had transported her back to her home and they stood in her living room.

"I must go. I'll check in when I can," Cas stated immediately after they had touched ground, and he as gone as fast as they had arrived.

Charlotte spun around the room, looking to see if he was still there, although she already knew the answer to that. Throwing herself down onto the couch she pulled out her cell phone and wrote a text message to Sam.

**So, you destroyed the world huh?**

**Yeah. Kind of**, he responded quickly.

**Care to share?**

**Not so much.**

She threw her phone down on the couch beside her and groaned out in frustration. Five days ago she was a normal girl, living a boring, normal life. Now, she was crushing on an angel and just found out her friend had helped destroy the world. What the hell was happening?


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I have/ two arms/ two hands/ and ten/ stronger than normal/ fingers/ that are all/ very much/ ready,/ always ready,/ to pick you up/ and carry you/ beyond/ all this./ Carry you/ home.

-Tyler Knott Gregson

"All right, in 3, 2, 1…" Charlotte counted down to the couple in front of her.

It was just another typical day at work for Charlotte; today it was a newly engaged couple shooting in the park. As she snapped photos, her mind wandered to what it would feel like, to be in this sort of love. She looked at the two in front of her and saw complete bliss. The way they looked at each other with nothing but adoration, the fleeting little touches and silent conversations, it made her happy, yet sad at the same time. In 27 years she had never experienced anything close to this, and her hope was dying out that she ever would. That man would die for the woman next to him, give his last breath to save her, who would Charlotte ever find to feel that way about her? Hell, most people carried baggage sure, but she hauled an entire freight, no one was going to take all that on.

As the day wore on, Charlotte felt her heart grow heavier and heavier. She had done this countless times, why was this time different? Why was it affecting her so much more? She had faced the truth that no one was going to come into her life and save her a long time ago. Her cheeks grew hot as she fought back tears, wishing for a life that could never be hers.

The sun was setting, bringing the photo shoot to an end. She bade her clients good night and started the short walk back to her small studio in the center of town. It was a quaint little shop nestled between a used record store and a Laundromat. The walls were adorned with some of her photos, a few of them having taken first place in local art shows. She had a desk with her computer in the back corner, a few chairs placed around it for when customers would come and view her work from their shoots.

She swung her bag onto the desk, pulling out her camera to begin uploading and editing them. As she watched the images speed past on the screen, the depressed emotions from earlier had crept back out from their hiding spot. This time, she let the tears fall when they brimmed her eyelids, hoping these feelings of despair and loneliness would wash away with them.

Before she knew it, it was 10 o'clock at night and she still had a short walk home to endure. As she flipped off her computer and packed her camera, her phone vibrated.

**Hey** was all it said. It was from Sam.

**Hey.** She replied. It had been their first time speaking since the night at the hospital.

**What are you up to?**

**Leaving work now. You?**

**Same.**

**You make your job sound so normal.**

**It is now.**

**What do you mean?**

**I'm a busboy at a bar.**

**What?**

**Yeah. I had to leave my old… job.**

**Why? What about Dean?**

**Haven't heard from him.**

**Oh.**

She could tell he didn't want to talk about why he'd left his brother. Sam was always so secretive, she feared if he kept everything bottled up he would one day explode. Everything he faced would be enough to drive 10 men crazy, yet he kept it together. But she knew that his stone face didn't come without a price. He never responded after her last message, she hoped he had fallen asleep. He had always looked so tired when she saw him it was unnerving. If anyone deserved a good nights sleep and a normal life, it was Sam Winchester.

Charlotte walked out of the building and into the cool night air. Her walk home was about 15 minutes and she usually looked forward to it, but tonight was different. She knew as soon as she began the unsettling emotions she was feeling all day would surround her, leak into every crevice of her soul. Better to get it over with, she thought as she locked the door.

Her feet led her one step in front of the other as her heart tortured her, reminding her she would walk this sidewalk alone for the rest of her days. No one to walk beside her, hold her hand or laugh carelessly. She would be alone. Always. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to force the images of herself, old and frail, hobbling through the park staring longingly at the families enjoying a warm summer day.

No more than 5 minutes into the journey home, small droplets of water began hitting her bare skin. Really? Now? She groaned in despair as the rain went from a few soft drops to strong shower. She immediately regretted not driving to work, or bringing a jacket. Her options remained turn back and call a cab from the studio or just make it home. She was weary, emotionally and physically, and chose to just make it home, a hot shower and bed sounded too good not to brave a ten-minute walk in the rain. She quickened her pace to a fast walk, looking excitedly at the long row of overhangs that waited just 30 yards in front of her.

As she passed in front of an alley, a pair of arms grabbed her around the waist and threw her against the wall, slapping a hand roughly over her mouth, stifling her scream. She looked and saw 3 men standing in a semi-circle around her, the largest of the 4 holding her against the wall, snickering as he watched her eyes dance around in fear.

"Well, what do we got here," he oozed, his breath heavy with the smell of alcohol.

Charlotte heard all 4 men laugh heartily as the surrounding 3 took steps closer towards her, closing out any chance of escape. She felt a tear slide down her cheek as she whimpered, trying with all her might to move any part of her body in defense.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing all alone out here huh?" the man to her left asked, running a finger down her cheek.

"In the rain too? You know, it's dangerous this time of night," the man holding her added, grabbing something from the man behind him.

He raised his free hand to her eye level and revealed a small, shiny knife, laughing as he watched her eyes go wide and dart around, searching for help.

"Ain't no one around to help you princess, you're all alone," the man who had handed her captor the knife snickered.

She felt her lip quivering, her entire body shaking with fear. So this was it. This was how it all ended. In an alleyway, killed by 4 drunken psychopaths. She thought of Sam, alone pretending like he could live a normal life, trying to desperately to fit in. Then her mind wandered to Dean, out there fighting for humanity, an army of one now. All of her family had deserted her long ago, but still, she wondered, will they care? Will my parents be upset when they get the call their only daughter was found mutilated in an alley and she didn't make it? No, she thought, they'd say she'd deserved it. Was asking for it. But she wasn't, not anymore. She'd turned her life around. It took 5 long years, but she had done it. Gotten sober, got a house, a job, started singing again. But when she'd called to let them know she was doing well, they'd said it was too little too late and hung up. What a life. No more than her cat and a few close friends to her name, she almost wanted to tell the men it was a waste to kill her. No one would care.

Her thoughts were stopped abruptly as her eyes followed the knife down and a hot, burning pain seared the top of her left thigh as he dug the metal into her skin and dragged it slowly, methodically down to her knee. She screamed into the hand over her mouth, listening to them laughing. When the pain had dulled she breathed heavily, her nose not able to take in as much oxygen as she needed. She could taste sweat and salt on her captors hand as she sucked attempted to suck in air.

Moments after, she felt the knife grazing her stomach lightly, up her chest and ended under her chin. She gazed pleadingly into the man's eyes, begging him to let her go but he just smiled.

"Well, now, you took that like a champ. Let's try again shall we?" he said excitedly, "But this time, we'll do it right here."

The knife had come to the side of her throat. Charlotte closed her eyes, waiting for the darkness to encompass her. Her eyes had becoming blurry from blood loss and shock; the only thing holding her up was the weight of the man in front of her pushing her into the wall. She urged her eyes to stay open, hoping that if she stayed awake they would let her go. The man licked his lips and she felt the tip of the knife ease it's way into the thin skin of her throat.

"Let her go," a gravelly, deep voice sounded from behind the crowd of men. It was familiar, but her hearing had gone fuzzy.

"And who do we have here? Where the hell did you come from?" the man to Charlotte's right asked as all 4 men turned their heads to look at the new visitor.

"I said, let, her, go."

Charlotte's captor nudged his head towards the other wall of the alley, where her savior stood. The three others smiled and turned, advancing towards the man. Charlotte tried to crane her neck, but her head lolled onto her chest, unable to support itself anymore. Her eyes remained open and her questions answered when she saw two of the men flying 8 feet in the air and coming crashing into the brick wall above her, the rubble softly raining down on her head. The third she saw thrown so hard into the opposite wall he went halfway into it, his limp body cradled by the broken cement.

Her captor quickly let her go and she slumped to the ground in a heap, lifting her head. She saw the hem of tan trench coat from in between the legs blocking her view. Cas, she thought to herself.

"What the hell are you?" the man asked Castiel, drawing his knife in front of him.

"That will do you no good," Castiel informed, his voice deep and cautioning.

Suddenly a crack of thunder boomed and Charlotte saw the shadows of giant wings unfold from behind her rescuer as lightening lit up the alley.

"Leave. Or I will reduce you to ash," Castiel threatened as the lightening subdued.

Her attacker ran, leaving the other three scattered lifelessly around the alley. Castiel ran over to Charlotte, kneeling on the ground next to her. She pushed herself up enough to grab the right side of his jacket, leaning her body against his and started to sob. She wailed into his chest, letting out her fear, anger and sadness. He stayed silent, but helped support her, placing his right arm around her. Her tears were hot on her face, contrasting with the cold rain that showered down upon them, coming down harder now than it was minutes before, the drops stinging her face as they hit.

In a feeble attempt to calm down, Charlotte tried to focus on her surroundings, on Castiel. His body was warm, she hadn't noticed she was shivering up until that moment; she listened to her teeth chatter, then to the sound of Cas's heart beating steady in his chest. She breathed in his familiar scent; it was comforting, even now in the pouring rain. Her fingers gripped tighter around the fabric of his jacket, wringing the rainwater out of the lapel as she squeezed. She was safe.

Abruptly, the rain stopped pouring over her head, yet she still heard it pounding the pavement around her. She looked up and saw Cas had taken his left arm out of his jacket and was holding what he could over her head, shielding her from the rain. Her eyes moved to his face, the rain was dripping off of his nose and his eyelashes. His hair was plastered around his forehead, little beads of water falling from the matted clumps. But what she noticed most of all was his eyes, filled with fear and concern, for her. His brows almost touched as he stared down intently at her.

"You're hurt," he stated, taking his left arm away from her and running it gently down the side of her thigh.

She gasped at his touch, not out of pain, but from the feeling as his fingers traced down her skin. It was so ginger and, caring. Here was this man, this angel, kneeling at her side in the pouring rain, holding his jacket over her head and fearing for her safety, her wellbeing, her _life_. She coughed as she tried to respond to him.

I'm- I'm fine," she managed sputter out, her throat hoarse from crying.

"No, you've lost a lot of blood, we need to get you to a hospital," he responded quickly, shrugging his other arm out of his jacket.

Before Charlotte had time to respond, he had wrapped his jacket around her shivering body, scooped her up in his arms and transported them to the nearest hospital. He carried her into the doors marked Emergency and they were greeted by a waiting room filled with people, a nurse seated at a desk at the far back wall. His strides were long and fast as he approached the blonde haired woman at the desk.

"Sir? What's happened?" the woman inquired, standing up to get a better look at Charlotte.

"She was attacked, in an alley. She's hurt her leg. I believe she's lost a lot of blood. You need to help her," Cas told her almost frantically, his grip around her tightening as he spoke.

"Ok sir. Calm down, I need full her name. Do you know it?"

"Charlotte, Charlotte Lockley."

"And yours?"

"Castiel."

"Your last name…?"

"Uh, I, Winchester..."

"Ok sir, we'll take her from here."

The ER staff had come out of the double doors beside the desk with a gurney, two techs waiting for him to place her onto the bed.

"Ok sir, just place her onto the bed, she's in good hands," the nurse instructed further, staring strangely at him.

"I, I need to stay with her," Cas told them, refusing to place her into their care.

"Do you know her?"

"Yes."

The staff all exchanged looks before the two men came forward almost threateningly.

"We can only allow family back sir, I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait here," one of the men told him, placing his arms under Charlotte and lifting her from Castiel's grasp. He gave her up willingly and they placed her on the bed softly, her eyes never leaving Cas's face.

"No, Cas," Charlotte croaked out, limply reaching her hand out to him.

He took it gently and held it between both of his own, "I won't leave," he promised, his eyes sincere and sad, she nodded as they began to wheel her back and then the world went black.

Charlotte woke up, the smell of bleach stinging her nostrils, an incessant beeping going off next to her head somewhere. Her head felt fuzzy, like she was off floating on a cloud, the feeling was unnerving. Her vision was blurry and she couldn't focus on anything, her hands seemed to be moving without instruction for her brain. Her voice cracked as she tried to speak.

"Oh no no, relax dear, you're all right," a woman cooed from in front of her, or was it beside her, she couldn't tell.

"What's going on?" Charlotte croaked, looking at the wires and tubes coming off of her.

"You're in the hospital, we've given you thirty stitches in your leg and had to give you some blood. But you're ok now, and safe."

"Where's Cas?"

"Cas? Oh, the man that brought you here? He's in the waiting room I believe. Hasn't moved a muscle from what I'm told."

"I need to see him."

"Sorry dear, he can't come back."

"No, I need to see him. Please."

"I'll see what I can do."

The nurse touched Charlotte's hand gently before walking off towards the doors. Charlotte mustered all her strength to try and sit up, pushing off the bed with her hands. But as soon as she had gotten up, her body gave out sending her flying backwards. A pair of hands caught her softly, one arm around her waist, a hand supporting her head. She looked up into the eyes of the arms owner and recognized their deep blue shade.

"Careful," his deep voice warned, soft and quiet.

He laid her gently back down as her nurse came bustling around him to her side.

"Would you like to sit up?" she asked sweetly.

Charlotte nodded and the woman pulled a lever on the side of the bed, raising the back half of it about halfway up. Charlotte smiled at her, before bringing a hand to her head as she tried to shake herself awake.

"That's the morphine dear, you're going to feel a little hazy," her nurse added before walking away.

"How did you know where to find me?" Charlotte asked Cas, trying her hardest to focus on his face, but it wouldn't come into focus.

"I can always find you," he told her, his tone surprised by her question.

"How did you know to come?"

"I- I'm not sure. I just, knew you needed help."

"Well, thank you."

"I should have come sooner."

He turned his head to the side as he spoke, ashamed by his mistake. He shifted uneasily beside her. He looked so different, but she couldn't figure out why. She tried to remember what had happened but it was only coming in brief segments and she wasn't able to piece them together. The alley, the searing pain in her leg, Cas saving her. That was it; he didn't have his tan coat on because he had wrapped her in it before taking her here. She looked around her but it was nowhere to be found.

"They never should have had the opportunity," he added quietly, keeping his gaze away from hers.

"You saved my life," she told him, trying to reach out and touch him, but her arm lifted an inch off the bed before it flopped back down.

His eyes returned to hers, still sad, but now almost guilty. He nodded once before his eyes traveled down to her bandaged leg, blood staining the sheet she laid on.

"I'm, sorry I couldn't heal you. I've been cut-" he started.

"It's ok Cas," she reassured.

He looked at her once more before sitting in the chair beside her bed, "You need to rest. I'll be here when you wake up," he told her with a tone of finality, and she listened, falling back into a deep sleep.

The hospital required Charlotte stay overnight. After begging and pleading with every nurse, doctor and official she convinced them to allow Castiel to stay with her. He spent the night sitting in a chair in the corner of her room, watching old black and white reruns on the television. The medicines kept Charlotte in a drowsy state; she nodded in and out of sleep through the night. Whenever she would wake up her eyes darted directly to the corner to Castiel, now with his signature trench coat back in place.

Castiel would look over at Charlotte every few minutes. She had almost died; if he had arrived 3 minutes later he would have found her dead on the ground. The thought was unbearable to him. The image of her eyes, lifeless and dull sparked something deep inside him. This woman was important, but he didn't know why.

The hospital released Charlotte in the early hours of the morning complete with extra bandages, pain meds and crutches to use as needed. Cas zapped them to her home and demanded she go straight to bed.

"I have to go. I'll return as soon as I can," he promised softly from the doorway of her bedroom.

Charlotte nodded, a deep sadness tightening her chest and burning her face. He looked back at her, regret etched into his face, his gaze apologetic. Charlotte stared at his face; it was so beautiful, perfect even. His entire being made her heart swell, or maybe that was the percocet. She couldn't tell anymore. She blinked and when she opened her eyes, he was gone.

The days that followed went by in a blur. Charlotte had called her best friend Lilly over to help her. Everything was proving to be difficult, showering especially. Lilly had been Charlotte's best friend since high school. They had gone through hell and back together.

"_Get out!" Charlotte yelled to the small, blonde girl in front of her._

"_Charlie! Charlie, stop!" Lilly yelled back wrapping her arms around her friend, tears falling from her eyes._

"_I hate you."_

"_Ok, that's fine, just stop, please, stop killing yourself!"_

"_Why? Who fucking cares? No one would miss me!"_

"_I would…"_

Charlotte owed her life to the woman standing in front of her. There wasn't enough in the world or enough time to repay her for everything she had done. She shared everything with her, yet telling her about Castiel seemed like a bad idea. There weren't many people who would believe that a full on winged angel from heaven, and an attractive one at that, came and saved her. Adding her past, Lilly would only assume she was heading down that dark path once again.

Castiel looked at Dean apprehensively before turning back to the circle of holy fire he had trapped the archangel Raphael in, "Where is he?"

"God? Didn't you hear? He's dead Castiel. Dead. There's no other explanation. He's gone for good." Raphael answered.

"You're lying."

"Am I? Do you remember the 20th century? Think the 21st is going any better? You think God would have let any of that happen if he were alive?"

"Oh yeah? Well then who invented the Chinese Basket trick?" Dean added sarcastically.

"Careful. That's my father you're talking about boy."

"Yeah, who would be so proud to know that his sons started the friggin apocalypse."

"Who ran off and disappeared. Who left no instructions and a world to run."

"So Daddy ran away and disappeared? He didn't happen to work for the post office, did he?"

"This is funny to you? You're living in a godless universe."

"And? What, you and the other kids just decide to throw an _apocalypse _while he's gone?"

"We're tired. We just want it to be over. We just want… paradise."

"So what, God dies and makes you the boss and you think you can do _whatever _you want?"

"Yes. And whatever we want, we get!"

Thunder boomed and the window behind Dean and Castiel shattered, sending shards of broken glass darting toward them. Both men ducked to avoid to the blast.

"If God is dead, why have I returned? Who brought me back?" Castiel yelled over the storm.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe Lucifer raised you?" Raphael asked.

"No."

"Think about it. He needs all the rebellious angels he can find. You know it adds up."

"Let's go."

"Castiel. I'm warning you. Do not leave me here. I will find you. And you're little seeping pus sack of a whore as well. And the things I will do to her…"

Castiel looked back at him, unable to clear the shocked expression from his face.

"Oh yes, we know Castiel. We know all about her, about your, unclean thoughts and frequent trips to her side. I will find her. And I will destroy you."

"You will not touch her," Cas threatened.

"And I will find you."

"Maybe one day. But today you're _my_ little bitch."

"What he said!" Dean added as the two men left the abandoned house and Raphael in his trap.

The two men got into the Impala and began driving. Castiel was silent, the words of Raphael echoing through his head. 'I will find her.' 'And the things I will do to her…' No, he wouldn't touch her. Ever. He needed to get to her immediately. To make sure she was safe.

"Hey man you okay?" Dean finally spoke, taking away Castiel's opportunity to leave and rush to Charlotte, "Look I'll be the first to tell you that this little crusade of yours is nuts but, I do know a little something about missing fathers."

"What do you mean?" Cas asked.

"I mean, there were times when I was looking for my dad when, all logic said that he was dead. But I knew, in my heart, that he was still alive. Who cares what some ninja turtle says Cas? What do _you_ believe?"

"I believe he's out there."

"Good. Then go find him. And hey, what was all that he was saying, about unclean thoughts, and finding _her_? What was he talking about?'

"Uh, I, I'm not sure."

"Come on Cas, you can't lie to me, I've been lyin' my whole life. Now what, or should I say who, was that about? Charlotte?"

"Yes…"

Dean nodded, "What's goin' on between you two?'

"I, I'm not sure. Nothing."

"Nothing? So, what are these unclean thoughts then huh?"

"I may have, imagined some things that would be deemed, inappropriate at one time. But, I had no idea why I was considering it. It's nothing Dean. What about you?"

"What about me? I have unclean thoughts all the time."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. Honestly? I'm good. I can't believe that I'm saying that, but I am. I'm… I'm really good."

"Even without your brother?'

"_Especially_ without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I've had more fun with you in the last 24 hours than I've had with Sam in years. And you're not that much fun. It's funny. You know-"

Castiel had left Dean mid sentence in the car, his worry for Charlotte had grown to heavy on his heart and he needed to ensure he safety. He arrived at a small bar, filled with about 20 people. He looked around quizzically and wondering why on Earth Charlotte would be here. He began to slowly walk around the tables, hoping to see her familiar head of dark red hair sitting amongst a group, laughing and being happy. His heart started hammering in his chest when he couldn't find her anywhere. He ran outside, searching the surrounding area for her, listening for screams. Something had to be wrong, someone had taken her: Raphael. His feet carried him back inside the bar and a sense of relief instantly washed over him.

Charlotte was up on a small stage in the front of the room, singing and playing her guitar. Her voice so beautiful, her soul poured out into every word of her song.

"I think I'll pace my apartment a few times,

And fall asleep on the couch.

And wake up early to black and white reruns,

That escape from my mouth."

His entire being was transfixed, hypnotized. He watched every movement of her lips, memorizing every motion. Her eyes were closed as she continued her ballad.

"All I wanted was you,

All I wanted was you.

All I wanted was you,

All I wanted was you."

Castiel felt his heart beating his chest, hard and fast. His palms were sweating, and breathing became more and more difficult with each of her notes. His body tried to urge him forward, to run up to the stage and, and do what? He was so unfamiliar with human behavior and emotion. He had taken a few steps towards the stage, but stopped abruptly when he realized what he was doing. Frozen in his place he listened as she ended her song and opened her eyes and locked gazes with him. She smiled when she saw him. He swore his heart stopped beating in that moment, her green eyes sparkled as the corners of her mouth almost touched them, her expression pure happiness.

She placed her guitar onto the ground, grabbing her crutches from the wall beside her and getting up from her stool. She looked apprehensively at the 4 stairs in front of her. Castiel realized what she was doing, and he ran to her as fast as his legs would carry him, leaping up the 4 stairs in a single bound coming to stand in front of Charlotte.

"Let me help you," he told her, his voice quivering.

"Thanks," she replied sweetly, grabbing a hold of his arm, holding her two crutches in the other.

She winced as she moved her leg, crying out a little. It was like a stab to Cas's heart to see her in pain, so vulnerable, helpless almost. He stopped her and then gently lifted her into his arms. She looked into his eyes, her face mere inches from his; he could feel her breath on his cheek, smell her perfume. Her body was warm as it pressed against his chest and arms, she seemed so delicate and fragile, there was nothing in the world, in heaven or hell that would ever take her from him, he wouldn't allow it.

He walked her down the stairs and sat her on a stool at the bar. All eyes were on them; the room had gone silent as they watched the intimate moment between Charlotte and the angel. She swallowed hard and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Thanks Cas," she whispered as the bars occupants took their attention away from them.

"I need to talk to you. In private," he told her, remembering the reason he had come.

"Ok, um, I'm done here so let me just grab my things and we can go to my house."

Cas nodded before turning away and grabbing her things from the stage. He brought them to her and she placed her guitar in its case and Cas took it from her after she'd snapped it closed. She got up and placed her crutches under her arms, taking a step forward as Cas walked beside her, an arm placed out behind her to catch her if fell.

The feelings that overcame her almost brought tears to her eyes. This felt so right, so normal. Walking out of that place, Cas carrying her things for her, an arm placed protectively behind her. She looked over at him and the corner of his mouth turned up in a small smile as he looked down, was he blushing? No, it had to be the lighting in the room shining strange onto his face, right?

They got outside and his hand came to her shoulder and within seconds they were in her living room.

"You're in danger," Castiel told Charlotte as he turned to face her.

"What?" she squeaked out, her eyes growing wide.

"The archangel Raphael, he's going to try and come after you."

"Why?"

"Because of me."

She stared at him, her mouth hanging slightly open. His attention turned to the hallway, he heard footsteps, his face went stone cold as he marched over to the doorway.

"Who are you?" he asked, his voice deep and threatening like it had been in the alley.

"I should be asking you that!" a woman's voice yelled back defensively.

"AH! No no no, Cas, she's my friend!" Charlotte announced, trying to walk over to the two as fast as she could.

"Who is this crazy person?" Lilly asked, looking to her friend.

"That, is Castiel. He's the, man that saved me the other night."

Lilly looked at Charlotte skeptically, and then turned her gaze to Cas. His mouth had formed into a tight line as he stared at her. Lilly backed off and Cas followed suit, turning and walking back, standing in front of Charlotte protectively.

"I'll, give you two a minute," Lilly said before walking back down the hall.

"Stay safe, I'll come when I can," Cas spoke as he turned to face Charlotte once more.

She knew he would leave as soon as he spoke so she placed a hand on his arm to keep him there, her crutch falling from it's place beneath her arm and crashing to the floor. She looked up at him, pleading with her eyes for him to stay, too afraid to say the words. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it, averting his gaze to the floor. He bent down, picking her fallen crutch up and handed it back to her.

"If you need me, all you have to do is pray," he told her, taking a step back.

She nodded, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes and again once she blinked, he was gone.

A/N: Sorry for the long delay! I was busying prepping for, doing and recovering from GISHWHES! I hope you guys liked this one! Next up is 2014!Cas and maybe Charlotte is there….? The plan is for it to up by early next week!

I love reviews, they make me so so happy!


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

And in great decay

Comes great renewal.

Life

Finds a why out

Of the darkest

Spots.

-Tyler Knott Gregson

* * *

Dean woke up on a rusty old bed frame, no mattress, no pillow, just hard, unforgiving metal. He looked around confused, the room was in ruins, this wasn't where he fell asleep last night. He got up to the window and saw the ruins of what used to be a city, just burning piles of ash now.

Dean exited the hotel quickly and headed to where he had parked the Impala the night before, but it wasn't there. He looked around angrily for signs of the car thief, but found nothing. He walked the abandoned streets looking for any signs of life. He came across a girl bent over some broken glass in an alley.

"Little girl? Little girl?' he prompted, trying to get a response, "Are you hurt? You know this not talking thing is kinda creepy right?"

Suddenly with a blood-curdling screech the girl ran at him, wielding a broken shard of glass as a weapon. Dean punched her across the face, flattening her to the ground. He looked around, looking for any sign of what the hell was going on, then he saw it. CROATOAN written in big red letters on the wall. He sighed and cursed to himself, this was going to be interesting.

* * *

Dean had arrived at Camp Chitaqua earlier in the day and get held prisoner, by the future version of himself. Oh and to make things better, his good pal Zach had shown up, told him that he needed to spend three days in this hell hole. Great, Dean thought, just great, he needed to find Cas. After asking Chuck where he was, Dean took off in that direction.

Dean approached Castiel's cabin, his head tilting in confusion. Beads were in the doorway, and he could smell the patchouli from outside. He parted the beads slightly and peered inside. Cas wasn't alone. He was seated on the floor, his left arm around the waist of a woman sitting in front of him, his cheek leaning against her head. Charlotte. She looked different, happy, yet tired. Cas looked entirely different as well. A huge smile plastered on his face, his hair flat against his head and he'd let his beard grow out past his usual 5 o'clock shadow. But what shocked Dean the most was the toddler running around their hut, he couldn't have been more than two years old. The child was laughing as he ran, Cas and Charlotte giggling right along with him. He looked down at their hands intertwined on her stomach and saw the glint of wedding rings shine in the dim lighting. Cas was married with a kid. Now he'd seen it all.

He watched as Cas turned his head slightly and planted the most loving, intimate kiss Dean had ever seen on the side of his wife's head. He saw their hands squeeze tighter and both of their eyes close as he laid his lips gently into her hair. Charlotte smiled and leaned her head slightly into Castiel's; something Dean expected was just a reaction, she didn't even know she was doing it. They were so in love. Dean had never seen anything quite like it. Two people so in tune to one another, so happy to be in the other's presence, the other's arms. It made him sad to think they had to live out their lives in this hellhole, and with a son no less.

He watched the little boy run over to his parents, throwing his arms around his mother's neck. Both Cas and Charlotte wrapped their right arms around the little brown haired boy tightly and Cas kissed his cheek, causing all three of them to start giggling uncontrollably again. Dean's heart grew heavier the longer he watched them, they should have a better world to live in, one where they could have a nice house, send their kid to school and grow up safe.

Charlotte had stood up, picking her son up with her. She had started to walk towards a back room when Cas jumped up and stopped her. He kissed the child on the head, saying something to him that Dean couldn't make out. Charlotte smiled as the boy nodded, wrapping his tiny arms around his father's neck and kissing his cheek. Before turning to continue on her way Cas wrapped an arm around her lower back and leaned in to kiss her. If Dean had even slightly doubted their love for one another, it would have been wiped out in that instant. His brows furrowed together and her hand came to rest gently on his cheek, their eyes closed. Their lips moved in complete sync with the others, pausing every few seconds with their noses touching before meeting each other again. Her thumb traced lines on his cheek and he pulled her body as close to his as it could get it. Dean saw their torment in that moment; the torment of losing one another in this messed up world, of being forced to live a life without the other by their side. Dean's heart broke in two as he watched their tortured souls refuse to give the other's up, in fear of losing it forever.

Cas finally pulled away, with an expression of regret and kissed her nose, then her forehead. He whispered something that looked like 'I love you, always and forever' from Dean's angle before releasing her and turning away. She headed to a room in the back of their home as he walked towards the window. He pulled a pistol out of a drawer and slid it into the waistband of his pants in the center of his back. Dean took the opportunity and walked into the little hut.

Cas's eyes rose as his hand shot to the gun tucked into this waist, but relaxed instantly when he saw who it was.

"What are you a hippie?" Dean asked, not wanting to give away he'd been spying on Cas and his family for the last five minutes.

"I thought you'd gotten over trying to label me," Cas responded with a sigh.

"Cas we got to talk."

"Whoa, strange…"

"What?"

"You… are not you… not 'now' you anyway."

"No! Yeah. Yes. Exactly."

"What year are you from?"

"2009."

"Who did this to you? Is it Zachariah?"

"Yes."

"Interesting."

"Oh yeah, it's friggin fascinating. Now, why don't you strap on your angel wings and fly me back to my page on the calendar."

Cas began laughing, but it was a sad laughter. Dean could hear the regret he tried so hard to mask.

"I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings. But I'm sorry, no dice," Cas replied, still chuckling sadly to himself.

"I thought I heard your degrading tone Dean," Charlotte snapped as she walked out of the back room closing the door behind her.

"Charlotte?" Dean tried his best to act surprised to see her.

"Surprised to see me?"

"CJ, this is 2009 Dean," Cas told her.

"What?' she spat coming to stand next to Cas.

Dean looked at her shocked; she seemed to really hate him, but why? Cas wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed the side of her head again, though this time it didn't seem to faze her. She was glaring at Dean, practically shooting daggers at him with her eyes.

"Why does she hate me?" Dean asked Cas gruffly, raising his voice.

Cas moved his hand to try and stop Charlotte from speaking but she shot him the same look she'd been glaring at Dean with. Lips formed in a tight line, eyes full of fire. Cas put both of his hands up in surrender, closing his mouth and shooting Dean an apologetic glance. Charlotte took a few steps forward so she was inches from Dean, her head only reached his shoulder but Dean was still intimidated. He leaned backwards, fearing what she was going to do next.

"You," she spoke through her teeth.

"Me," Dean spoke, trying to lighten the mood, it didn't work.

Charlotte slapped him across the face, hard. Dean brought his hand up to his stinging cheek and looked at her with wide eyes. Cas looked down at the ground, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What was that for?" Dean asked her, "Are you just gonna stand there?" he asked turning to Cas, who kept his eyes averted to the floor, clearly not wanting to get involved.

"You turn into a real dick," Charlotte continued, her face a little more relaxed.

"What?'

"You always used to say family was everything. It was more important than anything."

"Yeah. It is, always will be."

"No it won't. Everyday you try to rip mine apart."

Dean looked at her, not knowing what to say. Her eyes had become sad; he could see the wrinkles that had formed around them, the purple shadows that were cast underneath. She was thin, almost too thin. Now that he was up close, he could see the damages her body had taken. He could see the outline of her ribs on her chest, a scar running across the center almost touching each of her shoulders. She was pale, sallow and her eyes were sinking into the hollow of her skull. There was no color in her lips or her cheeks. Her lower arms were exposed from where the rolled sleeves of her over shirt ended. Three long scars wrapped around her forearm like claw marks. Her wedding ring slid to her knuckle, too big for her finger. Dean felt a pit forming in his stomach; he would never try to tear a family apart, especially not Cas's.

Charlotte took a deep breath in and closed her eyes, fighting back tears. Her lip quivered and she brought her arms tightly across her chest. Cas walked over to her and wrapped his arms around neck, cradling her head to his chest. She kept her arms firmly wrapped around her body, like she was trying to hold herself together. Cas talked quietly to her, reassuring her, laying his cheek on the top of her head.

"What do you mean, it won't always be important?" Dean asked her sadly.

"You lose Sam, you lose Bobby and I guess you just think it's fair for everyone else to lose the ones they love too," she answered, her response muffled from being buried in Castiel's shirt.

"I would never-"

"You tried to kill my son."

Charlotte pulled herself from Cas's embrace and turned to face Dean again. Her expression was hard and Dean looked back at her, his eyes wide with shock, mouth hanging open.

"CJ, he doesn't need to hear all this," Cas told her quietly, his voice was soothing.

"No, he does," she told her husband, "He needs to know what he becomes. A monster."

Charlotte walked over to a small table next to their bed and took a book from the top of it. She handed it to Dean. The cover was two pieces of leather wrapped around two pieces of thin wood, probably tree bark, with three strings threaded through the front and back portion. He opened it and discovered it was a small photo album. The photos had been stapled to paper, which was threaded along the strings that acted as bindings.

The first photo that greeted him was what he suspected to be Cas and Charlotte's wedding day. She had a small bushel of wildflowers in one hand and a crown of roses on her head. She was wearing a white strapless dress that reached her knees. Cas was across from her holding her other hand, wearing jeans and a blue jacket. But what caught Dean's eye the most were their smiles. They were wide, the corners of their mouths almost touching their crinkled eyes. He read the caption underneath, 'Aug 2011, Til Death Do Us Part'. Dean turned the page and saw another wedding photo, their first kiss. Charlotte had both of her arms locked around her new husband's neck. Cas had one arm wrapped around her waist pulling her close to him, the other on her neck and the back of her head, you could see them smiling as their lips touched. Bobby was in his wheelchair behind him, a book his lap smiling wide and clapping his hands. Dean turned his gaze to the right page and Cas had picked his wife up in his arms and was carrying her bridal style down the makeshift aisle, her arms still around his neck and kissing his cheek. Cas's head was leaned towards her, his lips pulled up a crooked smile. Dean recognized some people sitting in the chairs surrounding the two. Chuck, that woman Risa and some other familiar faces he'd seen walking around the camp, and himself, seated at the front. Dean turned the page again. The photo was Charlotte lying in a bed, holding a little bundle of blankets tight to her chest. Her hair was a wild mess and tears were coming out of her eyes. Cas was crouched next to the bed one arm around his wife's shoulders the other covering hers around the small bundle, tears were falling from his eyes as well. The caption read 'It's a boy! Eli Samuel 7lbs 6oz 22 inches Sept 15 2012' Dean flipped quickly through the rest, all of Eli growing up before looking back to Charlotte.

"I don't understand," Dean choked out, starting to feel tears welling in his eyes.

"You tried to make us, give him up, before he was born," Charlotte said softly.

"Like, an…"

"Yes. You told us there was no room for a baby. There was enough to worry about already."

"No."

"Yes, and you still feel that way. And you take Cas out on dangerous missions, knowing he could die and leave us here, alone. And you don't care."

"I do it to protect you, and E," Cas interjected.

"No, you do it because _he_ makes you!" Charlotte yelled, turning back to Cas, pointing at Dean, "You have some strange loyalty to him even after all he's put us through!"

Cas's eyes fell, "He's still my friend Charlotte."

"Some friend."

She turned and stormed out of their house, throwing the beads around the doorframe out of her way, causing them fall off completely with a crash. Dean flinched, throwing his hands over his head. Moments after a muffled cry was heard from the back of the cabin and Cas sighed.

"Excuse me," he told Dean, turning to go into the back.

Dean put his hand over his mouth and dragged it down his chin. Was this really what he became, a baby killing, family-destroying dick? He looked around the little cabin, incense burned in a corner, there was a bed, a small little kitchen area and a small empty space of wooden floor where a few toys were scattered about. This was no place for a family, but that didn't mean they didn't deserve to have one. Cas came back into the room, carrying his son who had his head planted on the top of his dad's shoulder, a small teddy bear clutched in his little hand. The boy was beautiful. He had light brown hair that curled away from his head and blue eyes. His cheeks were chubby and rosy. Dean smiled. It was incredible how right Cas looked carrying that little boy, like it was the life he was meant to live.

"Aw Cas, he's beautiful," Dean said with a big smile, Cas beamed at him.

"Thank you," Cas chuckled, "I love him very much."

"He looks just like you."

"I know, poor little guy," Cas turned his head a kissed the boy on his head, "Well, we should probably go find CJ."

Dean nodded and followed Cas out of his cabin where they saw the caravan pulling up finally home from their mission. Future Dean jumped out of a jeep followed by some of the other residents of Camp Chitaqua. They were all laughing, obviously victorious on their errand. Future Dean opened a cooler on the truck and tossed beers to all the men, the last one to the man in front of him. They cracked them open, toasting to a job well done. As the men were drinking, Dean put his can down and pulled his gun, pointing it at the man 3 feet away from him.

"Hey. Hey! Watch out!" Dean yelled, running out and trying to warn the man his future self was about to kill, but he was too late. A bullet buried itself into the man's skull.

The other residents of the camp looked back and forth between the two Deans, confused. Dean looked over to his right and saw Cas, Charlotte and Eli. Cas had his left arm holding Charlotte safely behind him, his right arm held his son; Cas had his head turned against the child's to keep Eli's view away from the scene in front of him. Charlotte and Cas's expression were both wide eyed and appalled.

"Damn it," Future Dean mumbled under his breath, "I'm not gonna lie to you. Me and him, it's a pretty messed-up situation we got going. But believe me, when you need to know something, you will know it. Until then, we all have work to do."

* * *

So they had it, they had finally got the Colt, and tonight they went to kill the devil, Dean thought to himself after leaving the headquarters of camp. Dean had walked aimlessly around the camp after the meeting; he had a couple of hours to kill before the caravan left camp. There was a small shack that was used as the armory, another next to it that kept all the supplies. The residents of the camp used up most of the other cabins, a lot of people having to share. He saw Chuck running around with his clipboard, jotting notes down, people yelling out to him what they needed.

Dean came to a halt in front of Cas and Charlotte's cabin, he could see her throwing her hands around angrily at who he could only assume to be Cas. Dean walked up the stairs to their porch and stood near the now empty doorway.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" she yelled, she sounded furious.

"What do you want me to say?" Cas answered coolly, man nothing got that guy riled up.

"Say no! No! It's a simple word Cas! Learn how to fucking say it!"

"I. Can't. You know I can't."

"No, you can, you just choose not to. What about us huh? What happens when you go on one of that asshole's suicide missions and you don't come back? What are we supposed to do? You have a family, Cas! You can't just keep going to try and save the world with Dean. _We_ need you!"

"I have to save the world, I'm part of the reason it's broken. I need a world where I know you and Eli will be safe. I'm willing to die for that."

"I'm not willing to lose you for that."

Charlotte had begun to cry, her face was red and splotchy and she was hugging herself again. Cas walked over to her, his arms outstretched but she shoved him away from her.

"Don't do this. Not now," he pleaded with her.

"Fuck off Cas," she answered, turning her back to him.

"Is that the last thing you want to say to me? Before I walk out that door to go face Lucifer."

"Yes."

Cas heard the resistance in her voice as she told him yes. He walked slowly over to her, his eyes cautious. When he reached her he placed his hands on her shoulders and gently ran them down the length of her arms before wrapping them around her middle. He nuzzled his face into her neck, planting slow, gentle kisses down until he reached the end of her shoulder. She closed her eyes as she leaned her head back, granting his waiting lips access to her throat then back up to her lips.

"I hate you," she groaned as he kissed her jaw, her mouth had turned up into a small smirk.

'Mmmm,' he murmured as his mouth made its way over to behind her ear.

She finally gave in, turning quickly to face him devouring his mouth with her own. He grabbed the backs of her thighs and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck as he pushed her up against the nearest wall, their mouths moving feverishly against the others. Dean quickly looked away, not wanting to see where they were going with that.

* * *

Cas looked over at the clock, it was 11:30, time to start getting ready to go on the mission. He slowly pulled himself away from his family sleeping on the bed, trying not to wake them. He put his clothes and boots back on and walked out of the cabin without a second glance, knowing that if he looked at them one more time he would stay. But Dean needed him. He made his way out to the line of trucks on the main road of the camp, securing his pistol in the back waistband of his pants.

Dean, from his time, threw him a rifle, "Get ready, we leave in 10."

Cas nodded and went to stand next to the Jeep he knew he would be driving. He watched all of the people bustling around, wishing the soldiers going out good luck. Cas stayed back, hoping Charlotte was still fast asleep in their bed, he couldn't look at her again.

Past Dean came up to him and patted him on the back, "I guess it's you and me riding to this one, just like old times," he said with a smile.

Cas tried his best to smile back, but his thoughts were elsewhere. He pulled a pill bottle from his jacket pocket and downed 5 of them, washing them down with the absinthe in his flask. He took a deep breath in and opened the Jeep door, sitting in the driver's seat waiting for everyone else to get ready. He needed to get out of there now, before he ran and never looked back. Dean got into the passenger side door and looked over at him.

""Hey, you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Cas answered, turning to Dean giving him the best smile he could muster before taking another swig of his flask,

"Look man, I know it must be hard, leaving your fa-"

"I said, I was fine."

Dean nodded, putting his hands up, "Ok."

"Let's go!" Future Dean yelled out from the front of the caravan.

Cas slammed his door shut and turned the truck on, he gripped the steering wheel tight, his knuckles were turning white. He tried hard not to look at his cabin as he drove off, but he needed to see it, one last time. He turned his head to the left and saw the empty porch and dark windows, good, they were still asleep. He stepping his foot on the gas a little harder and sped his way out of the camp forever.

* * *

A/N

So I realized none of my line breaks made into the other chapters! Sorry! I got it figured out now though!

So I wrote the rest of the scene that voyeur Dean walked out on... so if you want a little, well no its actually really long... CJ/Cas lemon just PM me your email and I will send it to you!


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"You bring the colors back into my world, you came along and stay by my side the sun did shine and now there's color everywhere."

-unknown

* * *

The TV was blaring news of national disasters throughout the country as Charlotte stood at her kitchen counter chopping vegetables for the salad she was making. Her leg had finally stopped aching; at this point she just wanted to scratch the skin straight off of it. The gash had left a very unsightly scar that tingled every time anything touched it. The doctor's had told her that sensation, more like nuisance, would never go away. She looked forward to a life with tiny spiders crawling up her entire thigh.

The water was bubbling on the stovetop behind her, signaling it was time to throw the pasta in. She stood over the steaming pot, penne splashing the boiling water around as she plopped it into the pot. She thought she heard something behind her, but dismissed it, she wasn't expecting anyone. She picked up a spoon and slowly stirred the tomato sauce she was making, or trying to make. Her mind wandered as her hand moved in aimless circles. It had been awhile since she heard from Sam, she wondered if he had reunited with Dean or if he was still trying to make it as a normal guy. She hadn't seen Castiel in awhile either. Not since the night he'd brought her home from the bar and told her she was in danger. So far, it had been a few weeks and she hadn't experienced anything out of the norm. So far so good, right?

She'd thought about praying to Castiel a few times now, but there was no real reason, she just wanted to see him. She figured he was out doing important save the world things, whatever they were, and he couldn't be bothered by her petty confused feelings. Truth was, she had no idea what she was feeling, or why. She figured that all girls develop a crush on the guy who swoops down in the dark of night and saves her from a band of raving psychopaths, which was all she was feeling. It was just a case of the 'He was a knight in shining armor who came and saved the damsel in distress; it's my fairytale come true' kind of feelings. Sure, he was handsome, and tall, and warm and his touch was so gentle. She shook her head, popping the little bubble with wings her head had floated off in.

She groaned realizing it was time to get her head back on straight. She placed the spoon back down onto the stove and turned to continue chopping her cucumber, yelping as she finally noticed a man standing next to the counter, studying her bowl of salad. Castiel stood, head tilted to one side, eyes squinted as he stared into the red bowl. When he heard her squeak he turned his head up quickly, locking his blue eyes onto hers.

"Hello Charlotte," he greeted in his usual manner.

"Hello," she said, drawing out the 'o' a little too long.

His head tilted again, "You look troubled."

She hadn't realized until that moment, her face was stuck in a shocked expression, her hands drawn awkwardly up to her chest. Her heart had begun to flutter in her chest and she couldn't think straight. She blew the air she'd been holding in out, relaxing her shoulders. Even as her body and brain fought against her, she relished in the feeling of relief that washed over her. She felt her cheeks grow hot as she remembered what it was like when he had carried her off the stage at the bar. He stood silently as he waited for a response from her.

"Uh, um, no. Nope, all good here," she told him, mentally slapping herself for sounding like such an idiot.

"Good," was all he said turning his attention back to the disaster on her counter.

"I'll be right back."

She walked quickly to her back door and ran out to her porch, letting the chilling air of the evening cool the embarrassment off of her face. She grabbed the pack of cigarettes off the railing and put one in between her lips, fumbling with her lighter. She turned her attention back to Castiel in her kitchen, watching him study everything as she took a drag. He had walked around to the stove and he had put his face directly over the pot filled with sauce. He jumped back quickly, wiping a splatter of red that had jumped up onto his face. She laughed as he went back to studying it, getting hit again by the boiling liquid. He looked out the door to her, his face was so confused, she laughed again as she stomped out her cigarette and went back inside.

"What is this?' he asked her as soon as she had passed the threshold of the door, pointing accusingly at the pot.

"That's tomato sauce," she told him, walking over to stand next to him.

"What is it doing?"

"Boiling."

His eyebrows were practically touching in the center of his forehead, his lips pursed as he turned to look at it again. He looked like he wanted to fight the sauce, but just couldn't figure out how.

"Is this, some kind of weapon?" he asked as he continued to glare.

"No, it's food," she answered, bewildered at how little he truly knew about humankind.

His face softened and one corner of his mouth turned up into a slight crooked smile, "Oh. My mistake."

Turning her attention back to the half chopped cucumber, she picked up her knife and began slicing. Castiel turned with her, standing close enough to her that his coat brushed her elbow with every down motion of her arm. Unlike a few moments before, she felt completely comfortable being in this close of a proximity to him.

He silently watched her move, studying her every motion, every feature with soft eyes. He marveled at the small flex of the muscles in her forearm with each downward slice. Her eyes were focused, causing her brows to crumple slightly in the middle; her lips had puckered just a little. Dark red hair fell gently over her shoulders in loose waves and it shined slightly in the light. She looked over at him and he quickly turned his attention to the floor, hoping she didn't catch him staring. Dean had told him that was rude once.

"So, what have you been up to," she asked him.

"Stopping the antichrist," he replied nonchalantly, marveling at the different tones of red in her hair.

"Ah, naturally."

"I, came here, to ask you for help."

"_You_ need _my_ help?'

"Yes."

"With what? Not the antichrist I hope."

"I need you to come with me, to speak to an angel. I believe she has information that could be helpful."

"Why do you need me?"

"This angel, Lailah, I believe she has taken refuge in a small town in Brazil, but I can't be sure of her exact location. She has hidden herself well. I believe the townspeople will be more, willing, to give her location to a woman."

"I take it I'm the only woman you know."

"Essentially. Yes."

"Right. I can help you."

His mouth pulled up into that little crooked grin she was beginning to really like. He looked so innocent, and he _was_ innocent. The horrid, ugly face of mankind hadn't had the chance to harden him. Her face sank, thinking of what he would be like after years down here on Earth, or if he would even be here that long. The selfish side of her wanted him to stay forever, with her, ready to fly down and save her from the world, from herself. But the piece of her that cared hoped he would leave and keep his childlike wonder at the world. He deserved that. Little did she know he had already chosen his path.

He bade her goodbye, promising to return in the morning and she ate her dinner in silence, no longer wanting to hear about the catastrophes surrounding her.

* * *

Charlotte woke up bright and early, anticipation of her adventure kept her tossing and turning through most of the night. She looked through her closet for the right clothes to wear. What exactly was the weather in Brazil like this time of year? Settling on jeans and a tank top with a button-down black shirt over it she ran her brush through the loose waves of her hair and sat down to wait. Her nerves were getting the best of her and she was unsure of what was making her more nervous; going to Brazil to hunt down an angel or going to Brazil to hunt down an angel _with Cas_. Her foot tapped rhythmically on the floor as she bit the dry skin off of her lips, her nervous habit. She wanted a cigarette so badly but she couldn't pull herself to go outside, afraid she'd miss Castiel's arrival.

Her agitated stated won out and she went outside to her porch, lighting up a cigarette and waited for the nicotine to make its way through her and calm the fire that had been lit inside her. Except this time it didn't. Her entire body still buzzed in impatience. She couldn't explain this feeling, her entire being felt alive for the first time in years. The world was so much more beautiful now. The birds were chirping happily in the trees, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the world just looked brighter. She smiled to herself; she'd been doing that a lot lately.

"Hello Charlotte," she heard the deep voice of Castiel greet.

She turned around to face him; he was standing in front of her sliding glass door. She felt her smile grow as she looked at him; his coat was too big for him, his shoulders slouched and his hair was always in a perfect disarray. His face looked so serious, but softened when he looked at her. For a moment all of his fears washed away and the only thing that mattered was this. Being here, with her.

"Ready?" Charlotte asked him, her voice full of optimism, a feeling he did not share.

"Yes," he responded.

Castiel felt the weight of his angel blade in his right sleeve as he debated whether or not he should bring her along. This should be a very simple journey, but there were always hazards and he wasn't sure he was willing to risk her life for this. She came to stand directly in front of him and he could smell her perfume, it was intoxicating. Although she was inches away it still felt like she was too far. He missed the feeling of her warm body pressed up against his, the feel of her soft breathing on his cheek. He'd revisited that moment in his head countless times, trying to make sense of the emptiness he felt. He stepped closer to her, his eyes intently locked on hers. She looked back at him intensely, the sparkle of her eyes he had come to enjoy shining brightly. His rose his hand slowly up and gently ran the backside of his fingers from her cheek down her jaw line. Her skin was warm and soft like silk. Her head had leaned ever so slightly into his touch. Confused thoughts flew through his mind, he had no idea what he was doing, or why, but he didn't want to stop. His thumb grazed over her slightly parted lips. He knew what humans did when they were attracted to someone, but there was no way she would want that from him. Why would she? A fallen angel who helped jumpstart the apocalypse, no one would want that.

Cas pulled his hand away from Charlotte quickly, startling her. A certain sadness set into her, she had felt so alive moments before. His gentle caresses had opened a part of her soul she didn't know she had. At that moment she knew she would never want another man for as long as she lived, not like she wanted him. It didn't matter what they did, what they had, no one else was going to fill this hole in her chest. It didn't make any sense and it frightened Charlotte down to her core, was this even possible? No, it couldn't be. Her thoughts were cut short as suddenly the world around her disappeared and was replaced with a small town filled with buildings with red roofs.

"Candido Godoi, Brazil," Castiel said flatly, his eyes searching.

"This is where she is?" Charlotte asked him, taking a step closer to him when she noticed all the locals staring.

"Possibly. This way."

Cas took off down the road, Charlotte following closely behind. The locals stared threateningly at the two and Castiel noticed, getting a fierce look on his face. He turned back to look at Charlotte, she looked absolutely terrified. Her eyes darted quickly around, her hands pulled tightly into her chest. She noticed every man in the area looking at her like she was a piece of meat and they were just waiting for Castiel to look away for just a moment. She immediately regretted her decision to come here. This was crazy. Her eyes started to get hot and she felt a tear fall down her cheek. Cas stopped walking and turned his body to face hers. He placed his hands lightly on her upper arms.

"I won't let anything happen to you," he promised softly.

She nodded and stood up a little straighter, silently overcoming her fear. She took a deep breath in to regain her composure and gave Cas a small smile. She was going to do this if it was the last thing she ever did. Which it very could well be she considered. Cas placed a hand on her back and began leading her through the town, his warm touch comforting her, giving her the strength she needed.

As they made their way down the streets she began to notice this place was strange. There were twins everywhere. She had never seen so many in one place.

"There are so many twins here," Charlotte whispered to Cas.

"Yes. This town is one of three in the world that have an exceptionally high rate of twins. I believe Lailah is in one of these three towns. Over 50 years ago, Lailah fled from heaven, taking refuge here on Earth. The legend in this town is that a Nazi doctor was testing on the inhabitants, causing the rate of twins being born to increase substantially. The timeline fits from when everything began in this town to when Lailah fled. I believe her presence is causing the increase in conceptions," Castiel explained, his eyes still searching the town.

"How will you know where to find her?"

"She will probably be known as some kind of, voodoo doctor, who helps people unable to conceive. Over here."

Cas led her over to small stand with a woman selling fruit. She was older, in her 50's, dark skinned and donned in brightly colored clothing. Her dark hair fell to her waist with strands of grey lightly visible. Castiel walked up to her and in a kind voice began speaking to her in Portuguese. Charlotte looked at him shocked; he made it sound like it was his natural tongue. She stared at him in awe, pressing her body closer to him. He looked down at her softly before turning back to the woman who began speaking. Charlotte couldn't help but notice how natural this felt with him. Even in a foreign country she knew nothing about, she felt this was where she belonged. Cas listened to her and then nodded, thanking her, Charlotte recognized that word.

"It's this way," Cas told Charlotte, continuing to lead her.

"So she is here?" Charlotte asked.

"I believe so. She told me about a magic woman that lives on the outskirts of town. If she is here, that's her."

Castiel transported them to the outskirts of the town where he scanned the vast desert before them. He noticed a small path to their left and took off in that direction. Charlotte had to practically jog to keep up with him. As they continued down the path she noticed more and more flowers sprouting out of the ground, daffodils. She was no gardener but she was positive daffodils did not grow in deserts.

"Why are there daffodils here? They shouldn't even be able to grow here?" she asked Cas.

"No, they shouldn't. They symbolize new beginnings and eternal life. We're getting close," he answered quickly, picking up his pace.

The pair followed the trail for what seemed like miles before finally setting eyes upon a ramshackle cabin surrounded by yellow daffodils. Cas stopped abruptly, placing his arm out to stop Charlotte behind him. His eyes squinted as he looked around, searching the area for any threats. Charlotte followed his eyes marveling at the beauty around her. Flowers were sprouted up everywhere; ivy wound its way up the sides of the hut, a small pond located directly behind it. It was an oasis in the middle of this barren desert. She knew this angel had to be here, only one of them would be capable of creating this kind of beauty in such a wasteland.

"She's here," Cas whispered, eyes focused on the hut.

He took off slowly towards the hut, Charlotte followed close behind him. When they reached the door he knocked three times. He pushed Charlotte behind him and held an arm in front of her protectively. So many emotions coursed through her, fear, curiosity, awe. She placed a hand on Cas's back, gripping his coat gently. The door opened and the pair saw an older woman dressed in strange robes. Wrinkles warped her face and her eyes held a certain kindness that one saw rarely in the world. Castiel's defensive stance softened when he saw the woman.

"Lailah," he greeted quietly.

"Hello Castiel, it's been a few years since I've last seen you," the woman said with a smile, "Ah, Charlotte, how lovely to see you as well."

Charlotte gasped when the woman greeted her as if she had known her. Her body tensed as Lailah stared at her, it seemed as if she was looking straight into her, reading her mind and her heart. It was like she was judging her soul. Charlotte darted her eyes around, trying to avoid the intense gaze. Castiel cleared his throat and Lailah turned her eyes back to him, easing Charlotte.

"I know why you've come Castiel, and I'm sorry but I cannot help you," the woman stated sternly, "Charlotte dear, come here for a moment."

Charlotte swallowed hard as Lailah's intense gaze again came to her. Charlotte looked at Castiel fearfully but he just nodded, giving her silent reassurance. The butterflies in her stomach created a hurricane inside of her, she could feel her heart thumping loudly in her chest. Her feet moved her forward slowly as her mind screamed to run back out the door and as far away from that place as she could. She stopped in front of the old woman and Lailah smiled at her before placing her hand on Charlotte's thigh. A bright white light shot from Lailah's palm and a warm tingling feeling surged through Charlotte's leg. It lasted only seconds but when the light had dimmed Charlotte could no longer feel the discomfort from the scar that had formed. She ran her hand down the length of her thigh and couldn't feel the raised skin that was there just moments before.

"There, that must be better," Lailah said looking at Charlotte with soft eyes.

"Yeah, thanks," Charlotte replied, relishing in the feeling of her newly healed leg.

"Now Castiel, I can assure you, I have no information for you."

"You must know something," Castiel asserted, his voice raising.

"I don't. God is gone Castiel, that is why I left heaven. The mess that heaven has become, I'm not sure how any of them stay. I see you have fallen, and I know why."

Castiel took a step closer to her; his face was angry and threatening. Lailah stared back at him intensely and he heard her voice in his head '_Protect that girl Castiel, but tread carefully._' Castiel listened, eyes squinting in confusion. He would always protect her, but why did Lailah care? Tread carefully? She knew something he didn't. He opened his mouth to question her but was interrupted by a knock at the door. All three of their heads jolted to the side and stared at the door. A great sense of unease took over the room as Lailah stepped carefully towards her door and opened it.

Two people, a man and a woman, stood outside of the little cabin, to Charlotte they looked perfectly normal, but Lailah and Castiel both flew into a rage as soon as they saw their faces. The couple ran into the room, one of them grabbing Lailah and pinning her to the wall by her throat, the other ran towards Castiel and Charlotte. In no more than one second, Castiel had thrown Charlotte against the wall behind him and unsheathed his angel blade from his right sleeve. He stood protectively in front of her as the female advanced on him. Charlotte looked over at Lailah, the poor old woman being thrown around the room by a man, trying to dig her angel blade out from beneath her robes.

"Well well, what do we have here? The rumors are true, the angel and the human. Pathetic," the woman spat, her eyes turning black.

"Take one stop closer and I will lay you to waste," Castiel seethed, gripping his blade tighter.

"Adorable, really. But see, I happen to know your batteries are dead. And I'm sorry to say, but I'd bet on myself when it comes to hand to hand combat."

Castiel stepped forward, holding his blade out, "We'll see about that."

The demon laughed as she began circling Cas. She lunged at him, but he dodged her just in time. Charlotte looked over at Lailah, who was still struggling with the man, whom Charlotte knew was a demon as well. The old woman had reached her blade, but was losing grip as the demon twisted and pulled her wrist. Cas wasn't holding up all that well either. The woman had kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying into the wall and outside through a large hole his body had made. She ran to him quickly and straddled his body, laying blow after blow to his face. He finally found the strength to push her off of him and stood up, blood dripping from his mouth and nose. He hit her straight in the middle of her chest and watched as she flew into a tree, cracking it in half. To her right Charlotte heard Lailah scream as she finally dropped her blade, the man she was fighting quickly picked it up and plunged it through her stomach. Castiel ran towards them but reached them too late. He stabbed his blade through the man's throat, causing his body to spark, the form of the demon seen through his vessel's skin. He dropped dead to the ground and Cas turned his attention to his dying comrade. He laid a hand gently over her stomach, bright white light leaking from the wound.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to her, his face filled with sadness.

Lailah grabbed his hand and smiled up at him, "Don't be sorry Castiel."

Charlotte watched them; she felt Castiel's sadness in her. Watching him say his final goodbye to his friend made her heart ache. Her attention quickly turned to the woman stalking back into the house through the open door. Charlotte's eyes grew wide as she saw the demon pick up Lailah's angel blade and advance towards Castiel. She was going to kill him. Charlotte stood up quickly and grabbed the first thing she saw, a ceramic vase and ran to Castiel. Charlotte smashed the vase over the head of the demon as she raised the blade above her head, ready to plunge it through the back of Cas's neck. The demon turned quickly and raised her hand, pinning Charlotte to the closest wall. Charlotte was rendered helpless as the woman walked over to her. She fought as hard as she could but her body would not budge.

"You stupid little bitch," the demon spat, raising Charlotte higher up on the wall.

Charlotte felt tears falling silently down her cheek, no noise would leave her lips; the demon had silenced her. As the woman opened her mouth to speak a silver point shoved its way through her and her body glowed orange like her male companions had. The woman crumpled to the ground and Charlotte began sliding down the wall, freed from the demons power. Before she hit the floor Castiel caught her in his arms. He hugged one arm around her waist using his other hand to cradle her head to his chest. He rested his chin on the top of her head and she wrapped her arms around his middle. Nothing could touch her here. She buried herself as deep into him as she could; his arms warm around her as she listened to his heart beating steady in his chest.

The world shifted around them and she opened her eyes to her bedroom. She pulled her head away from Cas's chest; his eyes were looking down at her full of fear. He had almost just lost her forever. She had just risked her life to save his. He brought his hands up to her face, placing one on each of her cheeks. The feeling of her skin against his sent electric waves throughout his body. He could no longer deny that_ this _was where he belonged, he just didn't know why. Her green eyes looked into his and he'd felt as if he'd known them for his entire existence. He just hadn't found them yet, until now.

"I, have to go check on Lailah," he stammered regretfully, remembering his friend lying in pain on the floor of her home.

He pulled away from her and disappeared, leaving Charlotte with that dreaded sense of emptiness that crept in when he was away.

* * *

Castiel returned to the little hut in Brazil and returned to his comrade's side. She was gasping for air, barely able to move. The light leaking through had grown brighter. She smiled when she saw Castiel, taking his hand in hers.

"You can do it Castiel, you can stop the Apocalypse," she croaked weakly.

"I don't know how. Please tell me, how," he begged, searching her face for answers.

"You've found your reason to save it."

"I don't understand."

"In time you will."

She reached her fingers to her blade lying on the floor beside her and pushed it against Cas's chest. He took it, shaking his head no.

"No, return to heaven, they can heal you," he began but Lailah just shook her head.

"I want it all to be over Castiel. Please," she begged, squeezing his hand a little tighter.

He looked down at her sadly as he placed the point of the blade over her heart. With a fast stab he pierced through her. White light shined from her eyes and mouth as she took her final breath. Castiel stood, taking notice of the shadow of black wings emerging from Lailah's lifeless body. He threw he blade down next to her and left the hut, never looking back. The flowers that had surrounded her house were wilted and dead, all but one. He walked over and picked it, marveling at its simple beauty. The world was falling apart around him, yet he felt grounded. He repeated Lailah's words, '_you've found your reason to save it_' over and over in his head.

* * *

Charlotte sat on her bed silently staring out the window. She just wanted to sleep, forget everything that had happened that day. Her eyes refused to close; afraid of what would be there when she opened them or what she would miss while they were closed. She stared at the spot Castiel last stood, wanting nothing more than for him to reappear. It'd been hours since she'd seen him. Fear coursed through her that more demons had appeared in Brazil and killed him, but somehow she knew he was all right. At that moment she knew exactly whom she wanted to talk to. She grabbed her phone from beside her on the bed and selected the name in her contacts **Sam Winchester**.

"Hello?" Sam answered and his deep voice comforted her.

"Hey Sam, is this a bad time?" Charlotte asked, putting her hand on her head, it had started to ache.

"No, no. What's going on? Everything ok?"

"I, I don't know. Yeah, I guess."

"What happened?"

Charlotte told Sam everything that had happened that day. He listened intently and reassured her everything would be fine. He gave her instructions on what to do if she ever saw any more demons: holy water and salt. He'd asked where Cas was, she said she didn't know, but he was there, watching silently, invisible. His heart grew heavy as he listened to her conversation with Sam. He wanted her to feel comfortable enough with him to talk to him like she did with Sam, earnestly and without inhibitions. He held tightly to the yellow flower in his hand, he had brought it back to give to her. His bravery waned the longer he stayed but then he heard her tell Sam something, rekindling his hope.

"He almost died Sam, I wouldn't know what to do if he did," she said, "I mean seriously Sam, I have no idea what's going on."

She was feeling the same way he was, at least the confusion. Castiel was confused, infatuated and devoted to her. If the whole world crumbled and she remained, it would feel as if nothing was lost, yet if she were gone, the world would hold no meaning. If she were gone the world would hold no meaning. He understood what Lailah had meant when she said he had found his reason to save the world. It was her.

Making himself visible, he took a few steps towards her, his face was filled with intent. She hung up her phone and stood up, walking to stand within inches of him. He handed her the single daffodil in his hand without a word. She took it with a smile, running her fingers along the delicate petals. Nervously, Cas reached his hand out and grabbed hers, pulling her to him. She slide back into his body, head resting in the perfect little space that his chest made where it met his shoulder, her fingers had intertwined with his. It was like two pieces of a puzzle put together, her body curved into his at all the right places. He wrapped his arm around her waist, his hand resting on the bare skin of her side where her shirt had slightly ridden up. Her body shook with anticipation and relief. Finally, she felt like she was where she belonged, and he felt the same.

They both thought back to the events of earlier in the day, where each had seen the other almost stolen away forever and instinctively they each squeezed a little tighter, a little closer. He let go of her hand and brought his to her chin, tilting her head up towards him.

"I, I think I would like to kiss you," he stuttered, his voice shaking.

She smiled and gave him a slight nod, her body tensing in anticipation. He leaned down slowly keeping his eyes locked on hers before his lips softly touched hers. A surge traveled through them, sending what felt like electricity through the entire bodies. He cupped her face in his hand gently as her arm wound around his neck. She kept very still, not wanting to push whatever his limits may be, but her body screamed to pull his head down and pour her emotions out onto his lips. Show him how much she needed him, wanted him.

Much to her disappointment he pulled away seconds later, that small little smile on his face. She kept her eyes locked on his lips, wishing to be kissing them again.

"I liked that, very much," he said through his smile, sending more butterflies to Charlotte's stomach.

"You can do it again, if you want," she told him almost begging.

She looked up into his eyes and all resolve she'd been holding on to dissolved. His eyes were full of complete adoration. No one in her life had ever looked at her like that, as if she were the only thing on the planet that mattered. His hand on her waist pulled her closer and his lips came crashing down onto hers again, harder this time. His hand traveled from her cheek to the hair on the side of her head and he tangled his fingers into it, pulling her face closer to his. Her lips were intoxicating, the way they tasted and how they felt against his, he could stay here like this forever. She began moving hers against his intently, wrapping her other arm around his neck, her one yellow flower still clutched tightly in her hand.

Their lips moved in perfect synchronization with the others, everything that they had been silently feeling poured out in their motions. She felt a tear slide down her cheek, as he pulled away, keeping his forehead and nose firmly pressed against hers. He took his hand from her hair and wiped the tear from her cheek as they breathed each other in, her arms remained locked around his neck, never wanting him to leave.

"Don't leave," she whispered, gently running her fingers through his hair.

"I have to," he told her sadly, "I shouldn't be here. This is wrong."

The realization hit Castiel again; he had almost gotten her killed this afternoon. He was dangerous for her. The best way to keep her safe would be to stay as far away from her as he could. Every piece of him begged for him to stay there with her, but he knew he couldn't. He wouldn't put her life at risk for anything, especially his own petty desires.

Her arms slowly unwound themselves as he head bowed in sadness. He kissed the top of her head before releasing her from his grasp and he turned, refusing to look at her. He knew if he did he would never leave. Her face was in her hands, her flower still wound between her fingers, and she cried. She cried as her heart broke, it felt as if her soul had been ripped in two. She heard the familiar flutter of wings and she looked up to her see her empty bedroom, the only evidence of him wilting and dying in her fingers.

* * *

A/N

I hope you guys liked this one! Please let me know! Reviews are so amazing.

I was considering doing a little mini series of 2014!Cas and Charlotte because the thought of writing Cas as a dad makes me super happy inside. Let me know if that's something you might want to read!


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